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Alex Ostergaard

The Confident You

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I used to be an addict
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I used to be an addict.

I used to be an addict. I used to spend all my days chasing a high… That I would never fully reach. It felt good in the moment, but there was always a brutal crash. And the more I chased it, the further it got away. It left me drained, overwhelmed and often resentful. I would neglect myself and end up in many unwanted situations. Sometimes getting home at 7am after a night out. It took me 30 years to finally admit I had a problem. And I’ve been in recovery for the last 3 years. “My name is...

over 2 years ago • 2 min read

The single biggest mistake I made when trying to build my dream life:𝗔𝘀𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮𝗱𝘃𝗶𝗰𝗲 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗿𝗼𝗻𝗴 𝗽𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲.Asking advice from people who weren’t living the life I wanted to live.As a result:I got advice based on their reality.Based on their limiting beliefs.Based on their fears.And despite them having the best intentions, it made my dreams feel impossible.It made my dreams feel out of reach.Because the people you ask for advice will shape your reality.They’ll influence your thinking.They’ll...

10 days ago • 1 min read

Exhaustion isn’t weakness.It's a message.Your mind can ignore it.Your calendar can override it. But your body will always tell the truth. At first it whispers: fatigue, tension, headaches.Then it gets louder: insomnia, burnout, illness. And if you still don’t listen, it will scream. Because your body doesn’t care about your deadlines. It doesn’t care about your image.It doesn’t care about who you think you need to be. It cares about survival. For Sensitive High Achievers, this is the hardest...

about 1 month ago • 1 min read

I grew up believing that most of what I felt was down to other people. My Dad “made me feel insecure”. My boss “made me anxious”. That pushy salesperson “made me uncomfortable”. It’s such a normal way of talking that I never even questioned it. But here’s an uncomfortable truth: no one can make you feel anything. Not your boss. Not your partner. Not your parents. Every single feeling you experience is filtered through your own perspective. Through the meaning you assign to what happened....

about 2 months ago • 1 min read

You're stuck because you’re resisting what you feel.Most of us were never taught how to feel.We were taught how to perform.We learned to push emotions away.To hold it together.To stay strong.When sadness comes up, we call it weakness.When anger surfaces, we label it dangerous.When fear shows up, we try to control everything around us.But that constant suppression?It creates tension, overwhelm and the sense of being stuck in your own head.Eventually it turns into anxiety, numbness,...

2 months ago • 1 min read

I have some beef with the personal development industry.Because it tells you to always be improving.Always be growing.Always becoming your “best self.”But that constant focus on improving subtly reinforces one thing:That who you are right now isn’t enough.So every insight…every transformation…every breakthrough…Actually ends up deepening the wound and strengthening the very story you’re trying to outgrow.The result:You chase a horizon you’ll never reach.And miss out on the life that’s...

3 months ago • 1 min read

For years, I measured myself against my most productive day. Which meant: If I didn’t finish my to-do list, I felt guilty. If I took a break, I felt lazy. And if I rested, I felt like I was falling behind. But this wasn’t a productivity problem. It was an identity problem. Because when your self-worth is tied to output. You’re not driven by purpose, you’re driven by fear. And that fear keeps you stuck: -Pushing without being present. -Achieving without satisfaction. -Living in the future,...

3 months ago • 1 min read

I’ve always been the ambitious, driven, type A personality.But then I’m also quite sensitive, empathetic and attuned to other people’s emotions. As a result, I’ve often been more prone to overthinking, people pleasing, feeling stressed, worrying what others think of me (hello Imposter syndrome). This is very common amongst “Sensitive High Achievers”. But most people talk about sensitivity and ambition as traits. However for many of us… they actually started as survival strategies. Your...

4 months ago • 1 min read

But here’s what came with me: -The guilt I feel when I rest -The shame that creeps in when I say no -The overthinking after delivering a workshop -The urge to prove myself through productivity -The tension that never lets me slow down -The fear that if I stop, it’ll all fall apart These things didn’t disappear just because I changed countries. They don’t disappear when you change jobs, cities or relationship status either. But here’s what did change: How I relate to them. I’m no longer at war...

5 months ago • 1 min read

But no one sees what it’s costing you.On the outside, you’re doing great:You’re driven. Self-aware.Always thinking three steps ahead....but no matter what you do there’s still that sense that something’s missing.You’re craving more meaning.More alignment. More authenticity.And even though you're sensitive and feel so much…you don’t always know how to express it.You don’t like crying.You avoid getting angry.And sometimes feel shame around having emotions.So instead you stay composed.Try to...

5 months ago • 1 min read

Here’s what I learnt:First lesson:Don’t believe everything you hear.Of course I didn’t eat pizza every day for 365 days.Why? Because I LOVE pizza.The reason I love it so much is because of the days where I don’t get to eat pizza.If I ate it every day it would lose its value. Same goes for happiness.If you felt it all the time, it wouldn’t feel like happiness anymore.It would just feel… normal.Joy needs contrast.Peace needs chaos.And happiness needs sadness/fear/anger to mean anything at...

5 months ago • 1 min read