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Alex Ostergaard

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I used to be an addict
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I used to be an addict.

I used to be an addict. I used to spend all my days chasing a high… That I would never fully reach. It felt good in the moment, but there was always a brutal crash. And the more I chased it, the further it got away. It left me drained, overwhelmed and often resentful. I would neglect myself and end up in many unwanted situations. Sometimes getting home at 7am after a night out. It took me 30 years to finally admit I had a problem. And I’ve been in recovery for the last 3 years. “My name is...

But here’s what came with me: -The guilt I feel when I rest -The shame that creeps in when I say no -The overthinking after delivering a workshop -The urge to prove myself through productivity -The tension that never lets me slow down -The fear that if I stop, it’ll all fall apart These things didn’t disappear just because I changed countries. They don’t disappear when you change jobs, cities or relationship status either. But here’s what did change: How I relate to them. I’m no longer at war...

But no one sees what it’s costing you.On the outside, you’re doing great:You’re driven. Self-aware.Always thinking three steps ahead....but no matter what you do there’s still that sense that something’s missing.You’re craving more meaning.More alignment. More authenticity.And even though you're sensitive and feel so much…you don’t always know how to express it.You don’t like crying.You avoid getting angry.And sometimes feel shame around having emotions.So instead you stay composed.Try to...

Here’s what I learnt:First lesson:Don’t believe everything you hear.Of course I didn’t eat pizza every day for 365 days.Why? Because I LOVE pizza.The reason I love it so much is because of the days where I don’t get to eat pizza.If I ate it every day it would lose its value. Same goes for happiness.If you felt it all the time, it wouldn’t feel like happiness anymore.It would just feel… normal.Joy needs contrast.Peace needs chaos.And happiness needs sadness/fear/anger to mean anything at...

I’ve coached over 250 sensitive high achievers, who think if they just plan better, they’ll finally feel at peace. Take Matt, a high performer in a leadership role. He was always thinking ten steps ahead. He felt responsible for everything running smoothly. But instead of trusting himself.He tried to control every outcome.Thinking it would finally give him peace of mind. But here’s the truth: We are limited human beings in a world of limitless possibilities. Controlling every outcome is...

Do you ever feel like there’s just never enough time? Well you're definitely not alone. But here’s the truth: Time isn’t the real problem. The real problem is attention. We’ve all been sold the idea that time is our most precious resource… But what good is time if your mind is actually somewhere else? I read this crazy stat the other day:Out of 60 minutes, most humans spend 58 minutes either thinking about the past or the future. That means only 2 minutes out of every hour are spent in the...

A powerful (but confronting) question I often ask my clients is this one: If absolutely no one could judge you, how differently would you live your life? The answers often involve: -Less Overthinking -Quitting unfulfilling jobs -Following passions -More self-confidence -More Freedom etc. The fear of people’s judgement often prevents us from living the life we truly want to live. And although it’s hardwired into us for survival… It’s possible to minimise the power it has over us. Here are 3...

It’s something you might do without noticing. Something that slowly chips away at your self-confidence. Something that destroys your integrity and self-worth. It’s a silent but deadly enemy called: Breaking promises to yourself. Sound familiar? “I’ll get back to you on Friday” “Next year I’m going to start a business” “Tomorrow morning I’m going to the gym” Every time you say you’ll do something and you don’t: You slowly erode the relationship between you and your word. You slowly deteriorate...

There’s a particularly nasty group of viruses out there. Viruses that influence your thinking. They influence how you see the world. They influence your emotional state. They influence your general mood. They are everywhere yet no one is talking about them: Memetic viruses. Contagious beliefs that hijack your thinking. These thought-viruses can come from anywhere: The news, social media, your parents, friends, colleagues, teachers, even well-meaning mentors… And once they’re in your mind,...

This Monday I did a very powerful exercise. I made myself a cup of coffee, set a timer for 30 mins and started writing down all the lessons I would give my 29 year old self (just before he quit his corporate job). I then cleaned them up a bit so he could print them out and put them on his fridge. This was the final edit:1) Don’t ask people for advice who aren’t living the life you want to live. 2) “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t either way you are right” - drill this quote...

Here’s a distinction I wish they had taught me in school: The difference between a Thought and Thinking. Thought is a noun. It requires no energy to create. And is just whatever pops up in your mind. Thinking on the other hand, is a verb. It requires effort. It’s the act of engaging with your thoughts. Thinking drains your energy.Thoughts are just neutral. “I’m hungry” is a thought.“I need to eat soon” is thinking. Thoughts are inevitable, thinking is optional. A core concept of Buddhist...