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how I stopped overthinking people’s opinions
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A powerful (but confronting) question I often ask my clients is this one: If absolutely no one could judge you, how differently would you live your life? The answers often involve: -Less Overthinking The fear of people’s judgement often prevents us from living the life we truly want to live. And although it’s hardwired into us for survival… It’s possible to minimise the power it has over us. Here are 3 insights that have helped me drastically reduce this fear: 1) It’s not actually their opinion. When I worry about “other people’s opinions,” what I’m really doing is imagining how they might judge me. I’m not reacting to their actual words. I’m reacting to my own assumptions filtered through my own mind. In other words, I’m projecting my own self-judgment onto them. Most of the time, it’s not them judging me. It’s me judging me. Realising this helps me take full ownership of the problem. And not lose my power by blaming others. 2) When people judge, they’re really judging themselves. “People tend to judge in the areas where they’re the most susceptible to shame.” - Brene Brown That means their judgment isn’t about you at all. It’s about them. They are projecting their own insecurities outward. And to me, that’s strangely comforting. Because when someone judges me, they’re really just showing me a part of themselves… not a part of me. 3) The people who matter won’t mind. The people who mind won’t matter. I come back to this simple truth often. It’s one of the best filters for knowing who deserves a place in your life. The people who love you want you to be you. That doesn’t mean everyone (like parents or family) will always understand your path. Sometimes they might judge or pressure you because of their own fears or expectations. But real love isn’t about control. And the people who truly matter will either support you now… Much love, PS: What I’m reading: Clarity by Jamie Smart |
Alex Ostergaard
Join 600+ readers of The Confident You Newsletter for weekly tips & tricks on how to increase Self-Confidence and live a more fulfilling life.
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